Sunday, December 4, 2011

Do Psychotic Ex-Spouses Have Personality Disorders?


Okay, so I have been digging into the research on "psycho" ex-spouses and really trying to find out what other people are going through. There is tons of information on the internet, blogs, websites, support group, forums, and yes, even YouTube videos. I happened to come across this man's YouTube video which was titled, "Is A Dangerous Woman Planning to Divorce You". The video really had me intrigued. The more he talked, his name is Roy Sheppard, by the way, the more I sat there in agreement with what he had to say. I was actually a little disturbed and embarrassed of my own female species when I found myself thinking back to ex-friends or associates I have known who exhibited such behaviors. 

I actually had my husband watch it a second time with me to see if he was in agreement about certain characteristics resembling his own ex. From what I knew about their relationship and deterioration of their marriage all signs pointed to yes, and he sadly agreed. I read the comments on Roy's videos and sympathized with the men who claimed that their lives had been ruined by these women and that they were completely caught off guard. Now, you might think this is solely a woman hating man who is out to bad mouth all women, but I did not find this to be true. He does mention that men also may have these disorders and if you read his book or look into his facebook page he argues with men who feel that finding a "nice" woman is pointless. 

His post from his facebook page spoke true words of hope to men AND women who find themselves with "users" who only use them for their own satisfaction and then choose to discard and destroy them when they are "finished".

Roy Sheppard --- "Emerson. Please stop believing that ALL women are like this. They are not. You've obviously been badly hurt by nasty women. By holding on to the ideas you have - they will have won. Don't let them. The best revenge you can have is to lead a happy life without those nasty women by finding a gorgeous women who adores you. You have to be open to that possibility. Certainly be careful in the future though."

I don't think it could have been said much better. This posting is not to bash anyone but to reach out to those who may have lost hope in finding someone "good" for them. 

My ex-husband and I grew up with each other and were the typical "highschool sweethearts". The problem was that we GREW UP with each other. He knew my every secret, every awkward childhood moment and insecurity. With that information we never fought fair because past mistakes were always brought into any argument and it was basically just a mental beat down every single time. Along with that, the people we were as children and then as teens, were not the same people we became as young adults and parents. We began seeking different paths and there was never any compromise. We just simply made each other miserable and beat each other up because we felt that by having children we were just meant to be stuck with each other. I came to the realization that someone had to make a move and step out of the revolving cycle. Our children deserved better and so did we. There would be people out there who completed us and loved us for who we truly were and not who we were trying to force ourselves to be. 

I always say, I don't believe my ex-husband and I are bad people. I believe that we were just bad people together. We brought out the very worst in each other. Now that we can realize that and the hurt feelings and negativity is a thing of the past we can mutually raise our children in a positive environment. 

But that scenario is for the human kind of this world. The woman that Roy Sheppard describes, as one YouTuber remarked, is the DEVIL. Watch the video, you'll be thinking the same thing...This is insane. Can someone actually act like this? "Cybil" isn't the only one and frankly, I would be here for years days commenting on everything she has ever said or done that would leave you wondering if it were true or not. I have to admit when I first started getting serious with my husband I thought he was a bit crazy. I met "Cybil" and she hugged me. Of course, she made a few odd comments to me but her over friendliness SEEMED genuine. It was not until a few months later that I began to actually see what he was talking about. Not only could he not do anything right but now I was in the line of fire as being young and naive and not knowing how to be a parent. Never mind the fact that I have three children of my own and a daughter that is almost two years older than theirs. All of my children are normal, happy, loving and smart so I must know something.  

One thing I have learned from her is that she is very judgmental, when she in fact has no right to judge. She thinks women who have children out of wedlock or with more than one father are "hoes". Women who have big babies didn't take care of themselves during pregnancy because they sat around and ate junk food and simply didn't care about their child. Let's not mention the fact that although their daughter was a normal sized, beautiful and healthy little girl, her OB thought she was having a ten pound baby because of how big she was. Now, the same comment would not apply to her, of course, because she is perfect and does everything right. This is all out of her mouth.

I am the type of person who tries to reason with people's actions and words. I try to figure out what might be going through their head, what life experiences they have had, what makes them this person that acts this way. I have spent the last year trying to figure "Cybil" out. And I still have nothing. Maybe this personality disorder isn't so far off, she truly fits every single one of his symptoms he lists, so much that I could swear he had dealt with the wrath of "Cybil" himself. What I would love to know is how do you deal with these people? He clearly states that they refuse to admit they need help or ever seek it, so what do you do?

My question for my readers: feel free to comment below, have you ever dealt with someone like the person he describes? Male or Female? Do you know someone who has? Have you had a work colleague like this? I would love your feedback!

Onward and upward and shining on!
<3 The Nice Wife 

1 comment:

  1. I watched this video with my husband and he couldn't believe how dead on this described his ex-wife. You have no idea what hell he has gone thru and what we continue to go thru...I have never in my life dealt with someone like this before...but I promise you I am up for the fight!

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