You Need Help???

So, over this fine holiday weekend of Thanksgiving leftovers and shopping galore, my husband and I got the unexpected and very much unwanted treat of having to deal with his ex-wife through numerous e-mails. Fun, right?

It all started off harmless...We woke up early Saturday morning to see that she had sent my husband photos. Perfectly harmless as we now live on the other side of the country and he enjoys seeing pictures of his daughter. The problem, is that along with pictures of his daughter, also come pictures of her, and sometimes they are just of HER. I find it to be inappropriate but it is not my battle so I stay out of it. My husband chose to e-mail her back and ask her to just stop sending photos entirely because he needed time and although he loved his daughter the photos were just too much. (He was transferred out of state for his job and I know he still has a hard time not being there physically in his daughter's life.) He went on to further address some issues that had previously come up about her contacting MY ex-husband in order to obtain information on him (you would have to read the previous posts to understand that craziness). I read the e-mail after he sent it and agreed that I felt that it was direct and to the point, but respectful.

She flew off the handle after that. It first began with child support payments (something she is already getting the maximum for and keeps trying to get the judge to increase). Complaining of how her and their daughter were in serious financial jeopardy and she couldn't even turn on cable. Woe is me. Who gives a rat's flying behind about you not having cable? We just moved to another state. We don't have cable either, we can't afford to live a luxury lifestyle. Her final blow in the first e-mail came with a comment about him being like his father; a man, whom my husband never got to know due to his own mother's bitterness towards his father. 

Being the little bulldog I am, I then stepped into the e-mail. Now, before you judge me...I know that this wasn't my place to get involved but I am the type of person who cannot stand to sit and let someone be bullied and manipulated. My husband is very non-confrontational and feels that arguing with this woman is pointless. He is right, it is, but still, I couldn't let her say such things and get away with it could I? Of course not!

So the battle began once again. She said she was only trying to protect herself. Not their daughter, but HERSELF. Protect herself from what, I asked? No one had done anything to her but continually give her everything she asked for in this circus of a divorce. And I do mean EVERYTHING. My husband, nor I, harassed her, bad-mouthed her, not a thing so what was she being protected from? Secondly, I asked how it was possible that she was in such financial jeopardy when she made more than my husband did per month, taught music lessons weekly for $60/hour, got $800 in child support and her rent was almost $500 less than ours. How was it possible? I could not believe she had the audacity to sit there and lie about being broke and putting a guilt trip on him just to get more money. She has flat out said before that all she intends to do is make him suffer. So if he ever even seems like he is remotely happy she is back again to try and kick him down or take more from him. 


The merry-go-round of emotions continued on as she criticized him for being a coward and abandoning his daughter. Going on and on about how pathetic he was and how he had never been a father or done anything for either of them. So the $10,000 from his military money that he put down on the house that he willingly gave you was doing nothing? Making sure you had a monthly spending allowance and that all your credit cards were zeroed out every month on top of what you made from your own job was nothing? Staying up every night with their daughter who had acid reflux and then going to work the next morning while you slept and stayed home all day was nothing? Catering to her every request because a dinner at a normal restaurant and flowers for Valentine's Day was nothing, she had to go to the most expensive restaurant in town and then when he made it up and took her she still complained it wasn't good enough. That must've been nothing as well. The stories he has told me about how hard he tried to make this woman love him and be happy just makes me angry and sad and I am so glad that we found each other and that I am able to show him that he is good enough and that much more. All this has ever said to me was that she was spoiled so much by her parents and then him that she thought she could kick him out of their house, file for a legal separation and still keep the same perks that she had while she was with him. Divorce doesn't often work that way for NORMAL people. 

The e-mailing ended when she accused "him", who was actually me, of being verbally abusive. I was on the verge of flipping out by this point. How can you sit there and call someone names, accuse them of being being pathetic and a horrible father, tell them that you will find a man who is better than he is and that he isn't shit to you and than say he is the one being abusive? When the whole conversation revolved around me asking questions about her accusations and calling her out on lies. But no, in her delusional world (I was the delusional one who needed help according to her), he was being emotionally abusive. I was done after that statement. If that is considered emotional abuse the world better look out because this nut job will be filing charges on you for looking at her funny!

Lord, help us!

Onward and upward and shining on!
<3 The Nice Wife